War is a very confusing and conflicting concept

Neva emerging from a tunnel at Cu  Chi 

Neva van Raalte writes: 

It’s impossible to sum up what this trip has meant and done for me in only words. Right now, sitting at home writing this 5 weeks later after returning to Australia, I feel like going to Vietnam is just a bizarre crazy dream. What I do know though is that I met some amazing people from whom, I have made some amazing friends and have had some amazing experiences with.  I also feel as though that in a way, I have found a new sense of clarity within myself and what I believe in.

What I loved about this trip is that it not only gave you one opinion/side of the story, it gave you many, and so you were able to pick and choose and make an informed decision. And the information we received was abundant! Certainty not the type of information that can be found on the internet. No, it was the type of information that could only come through experience, and this I truly valued. Going to the Cu Chi tunnels gave me the experience of not fully knowing, but at least some-what understanding what warfare was like down in those tunnels during the Vietnam war. My Vietnam soldier, Robert Walter Bowtell, was a tunnel rat so crawling through those dark and small tunnels was emotional for me, and was when I really started to realise the horrors that him, and the soldiers from the other side, endured. Whilst we were only experiencing a few aspects of those tunnels, there was a whole other component to it, and that was the fear of wondering whether your enemy was waiting for you around the corner.    

Sometimes after a long day of talking about the Vietnam war, like after the Cu Chi tunnels, I would quietly sit on the bus and look out the window wondering the ultimate why. Why? Why does war happen? And why does it have to be so horrible? The concept of war has always been a very confusing and conflicting concept for me, like I can imagine it has been for many other people. I think at some point, some of us confuse the people who go to a horrible war as horrible people, but keep in mind many people have been forced to go to war. And when has it ever been said that someone has gone to war to fight and kill? The intentions of a person who goes to war are good and pure; to protect their country. Yes, war is bad, but the people who go to war are good. In most cases very, very good people. As human beings, we can only strive to do that; be good people. If anything, this trip has given me clarity and a deeper spiritual connection to myself and my morals. For this I am eternally grateful.